NEW YEAR'S Resolutionsssss :)

Eto lists kooo...

1. MAGPAKATABA
2. Sumakay ng roller coaster
3. Pumunta ule sa isang band concert
4. No more failures sa studies
5. Makapag ipon!!
6. Magkagusto nako ng totoo sa iba
7. Susubukan ko na maging matapang ng onti
8. Hindi nako masyado magiging mahiyain
9.susubukan ko ng tumikim ng mayonnaise
10. Sana magkaroon ako ng asooooo!! yung siberian!
11. Pumunta ng Hundred Islands!

wait magisip pakoooo hahahahhahaha! Mag new look kaya ako. Eedit ko to kapag nakaisip ako haha.. :D

Memories of WILL BE past. :))))))

As 2012 will come near, malapit na nga eh. I would be going back to the paaaaast. Yung tipong ayaw ko na sana maalala at yung tipong iiwan ko nalang sa 2011 ko at never will bring them in my 2012. :D

-HEARTBREAK!
-failure in studies
-grand parents died
-my brother got dengue
-I, too, got dengue. I was hospitalized
-heartbreak
-heartbreak
-heartbreak
-MANIAC!
-MARAMI PA.

Pero naging happy rin naman ako kasi there are lot of person whom I can call as FRIENDS talaga. :) And i appreciate them nung mga oras na I was down, especially sila roseanne, janelle, loraine and denise. Nagawa pa nga namin etong year na to na puro magouting hahaha! Funny part pa dun eh lahat na kami eh single. Thank you rin sa famuliy ko lalo na kay God. Saka kela paulo jaz lem pam at eming. Sila kc ali charm, paolo cabase, pen, gavin, joseph. :)Sila ang reason, pati narin ang MB. :) Thank you rin sa mga good and happy memories kay Elmar.. Thank you pero nag let gonako. I'll be leaving 2011 happy. Hoping na maging maganda yung 2012 ko! :)

UPDATES on the GOOOOO!!

December 21 2011----Skype with Roseanne, Janelle and Lorraine :)

December 22-23 ---On the way sa province in don Pedro Malasiqui, pangasinan. umalis kami 8. We arrived 2 something in the morning. :) Tapos nakita na namin yung asawa ni Kuya Paul si ate Sheryl!! Grabe parang ginawa akong baby sa buhat ni Kuya paul at yakaaaaaap!! haha After 5 years nalang ule kasi nagkita eh. :D

December 24--- MERRY CHRISTMAS! hihi. Masaya akoooo

December 25---Feeding ng less fortunate hihi. Care of ate Neng, organize by us (Betog, my cousin). Nakakataba ng puso marinig to "Balbaleg so pasasalamat namin ed si kayo. Mamaong so christmas met namin.Masamit so pagkain..." translate: Malaki pasasalamt namin sa inyo. Maganda ang Christmas namin, masasarap ang pagkain..." sabe pa nila sana next year meron pa raw. hahaha Every year na tooo :)

December 26----Swimming in Bonuan beach.
December 27---Our Lady of Manaoag. :)
December 28----UWI NAAAAA! haaaay Urban life agaiiiin :)

LOVE

L-O-V-E=====You'll never understand every single meaning of it until it happens to you! :)

Starting all over again isn't a bad. For when you restart, you'd get another chance to make things right.. :)

If it didn't matter, you wouldn't be thinking about it. :]

The person who really loves you sees what a mess you can be,

how moody you can get,

& how hard you are to handle. But still wants you in his/her life.

-Have the best search for that person

What would you feel if somebody will tell you this words?

I will not forget you.

I care for you.

You are mine.

I love you.

It feels great, right?

You are remembered, cared, belonged and loved.

These words are for you.

From: GOD
"I care for you."
-1Peter 5:7

"I will not forget you."
-Isaiah44:21
"You are mine."
-Isaiah 43:1

"I love you."
-Isaiah 43:4

Isn't it wonderful to realize how sweet God is.

"To be happy, sometimes you just have to forget what's gone, appreciate what still remains and,

look forward to what's coming next..ü

Yun LANG!

HMMMM, mukang in confusion nga ata ako. haha! Ayaw ko na talaga magkagustoooo. Pleaseeeeeeee HEART stop saying your language "lub-dub-lub-dub" sa taon yun. Kasi HINDI PWEDE hindi pwede hindi pwede hindi pwede hindi pwede hindi pwede hindi pwede hindi pwede. HINDI PWEDEEEEEEEEEEEE EH. :| HINDI TALAGA, SIGE KA IKAW NANAMAN MASASAKTAN NYAN SA HULI. HINDI TALAGA. :| OHMYGAAAAAASHHHH ANO itooo huhu ayaw ko ng ganito. PIGIL PIGIL JAN.. Control control ditoooo.. :< HINDI TALAGA PERIOD!

This blog is Untitled

Updates..

December 13

With Lorraine, Roseanne and Denise (supposedly with Carmi pero nahilo kasi siya eh). We went to bazaar sa World Trade Center. hihi.

December 14 thesis thingyyyy. Museum bonding with Pam and Paulo.

December 15

Morning, with Lorraine, Rosey and Denise. Lunch onwards, with Paulo and Pam in Trinoma. We bonded, watched New Year's Eve aaaaaaaaaaaand admired Chris Tiu HAHA. :))

December 16
Paskuhan Day with this people <3 OKAY nakoooo. Somedaaaay, mas magiging Happy rin ako. :)

FIRST!!!

I PROMISE THAT, KAPAG HINDI AKO NAKABILI NGAYON NG SIBERIAN HUSKY OR SHITZU KAPAG NAKAPAGTRABAHO NAKO, SA UNANG SWELDO KO.. I'M GONNA BUY SIBERIAN HUSKY OR SHITZU WITH MY OWN MONEY! I PROMISE! :)

STATE OF CALAMITY!======NOT! Confusion STRIKES!

I wanna try this one! :)

---Okay, the true things I wanna say is that..I'm a bit confused lately. Rampant things runs thru my head hihi. I was thinking a while ago of someone (not him, I mean not E okay?), kasi parang... OH NOOOO! Kasi parang.. parang.. I'M GETTING TO LIKE SOMEONE, honestly! Halaaaaa.. MALI ETOOO kasi sabe ko ayaw ko muna magkagusto. BUT OHMYGOD! This shouldn't be happening, I should control my feelingssss. Saka ayun hindi talag pwede. Malabo ata mangyari.. HINDI TO PWEDE EH! :| :)) KTNXBYE!

THIS IS REBLOG!

".....Parang ang lungkot nanaman, ewan ba..nakakainis..Nagbasa kasi ako ule ng blog ko. Naalala ko lang ule lahat.. Di ko alam minsan iniisip ko na nagreregret ba ako or hindi? Well kahit papaano sobrang daming happy moments and at least naging happy ako with him kahit ! year anf 2 months lang..and FOREVER siyang favorite part ng LIKE KO. Pero yung mga memories na yun ang nagpapasad din sakin kahit paano.. Pero he's still breaking my heart. I DID EVERYTHING A GIRL NEED TO DO WHEN SHE"S BROKEN HEARTED, yet not enough to take the pain away... I wish I could do something that wouyld make the pain go away and make me happy again. I wish I am what I used to be, whre all I could think of was happy moments, cheerful daysss, MY DREAM. I couldn't bring that back for now..Tapos nasama ko pa siya sa pangarap ko, but he just took it awayyyyy. All I wanted along is that dream of mine, ehe Eiffel tower, eurotrip. He said he would take me there, sasamahan daw niya ko kaming DALAWA daw. Kami daw tutupad nun lalo na sa Eiffel tower, sabe pa niya ipapasyal din daw niya ko sa London.. Eh what am i supposed to do when all I could think of is my dream yet all i remember was a failed out promises? Yung dream ko yun yung nagpapasaya nalang sakin ehlalo na yung oras na wala pa siya sa buhay ko.. CHILDHOOD DREAM KO YUN EH pero he just stained it..:'( Sana may time machine nga talaga noh? para alam ko na yung gagawin ko.. Yeah, i admit nasasaktan parin ako lalo ng alam ko everything he's doing to that girl, he DID that to me! And I'm so angry right now sa sarili ko for finding out that..I STILL LOVE HIM this this this muccccccch but all I could do was nothing. I know he's happy right now and I think he's inlove and that I want to be happy for him and for that girl, I really doooooo! Beacause I love them and beacause I love too much! But how? I can't for nowww.. It's too painful...." :(

------AM I TOO KIND?? I WISH I WASN'T AND I'M NOT......OKAY SO I CONFIRM WITH ALL MY HEART THAT I'M ALREADY MOVED ON AND THIS? THIS AIN'T WHAT I FEEL NOW. THANK YOU MY FRIENDS AND FAMILY AND EIFFEL TOWER, MOST OF ALL GOD, FOR BEING MY INSPIRATION AND SHIELD FOR THE PAIN :) BITTER? MAYBE YES, FOR I STILL EXIST IN THEIR PRESENT AS WELL AS THEY EXIST IN MINE. SEE THINGS I DON'T WANNA SEE? YES BUT STILL IT DOESN'T HURT ANYMORE AS IT DID BEFORE. :)

WANTED: CRAVING FOR ANY OF THIS!

SIBERIAN HUSKY

SHITZU

Mag-iipon ako for thissssss! I want one for my own. I don't care kung may asthma ako. This would definitely make me happy! If I can, I want the siberian talagaaaa! Kaso ang cute cute ng prize. :"> Pero shitzu wilol do If ever hindi ko mapagipunan ang siberian. :) PLEASEEEEEEEEEE!!

This blog is untitled

I will definitely make this come true! :)

Ti dot ti

I had a hard time kahapon, I don't want to talk it here. But thanks to Denise for cheering me up, pati na rin si Lemuel.. IPIT. (there goes my fake smileeeeee) :] :] :] TRUE FACT for my personalityyyyy, I'm not hating rain but everytime it rains laging nakakalungkot! katulad ngayoooon..Tumawag pala si papa. I miss this man whom I know will never ever ever ever hurttttt me. I miss you so much papa!! 2nd Christmas without you here with usssssss!

LSS mode :)

Uncharted hihi.:) Hi, december na december eh broke ako, kaya ayun. I just bought my friends gifts na simple lang and not that too expensive either. :) I just want to share to you how I'm doing right now, sobrang happy nako everydaaaaay. I can say na nakamove on na talaga akoooo from HIM. :) Thanks sa mga friends kooo, and by the way I like to have a boy best friend, I'm thinking na parang si Paulo Mendoza or Lemuel Dizon yung gusto ko maging best friend kasi masarap sila kausap hihi. :) I Love my LIFEEE!

SOMEONE LIKE YOU..

Link to someone like you you tube :)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hLQl3WQQoQ0&ob=av3e

Nevermind, I'll find someone like you

Ne t'en fais pas, je trouverai quelqu'un comme toi

I wish nothing but the best for you too.

Je ne souhaite rien que le meilleur pour toi aussi

Don't forget me, I beg, I remember you said :

Ne m'oublies pas, je t'en prie, je me souviens tu as dis :

Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead Parfois l'amour dure, mais parfois blesse

Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead, yeah.

Parfois l'amour dure, mais parfois blesse,ouais

THESIS---On the Go! Parasites it is!

Callinectes sapidus aka crab, Paralytic shellfish poisoning and Schistosoma japonicum. That's the topics we picked on our thesis.. But our Ma'am Gina Dedeles approved C.sapidus and S.japonicum. So tomorrow we will talk to sir Cauyan (parasitologist) para siya ang maging adviser namin, hopefully his not yet full I mean profs had limited number of being an adviser on thesis.
Thesis mates? the fivers! :) WISH US LUCK!

HOBBY TIME :)) ---Drawing

After 2 hours of drawing it, may I present to you (tadaaaaa) my newest architect of Eiffel tower-----FAIL :( I forgot to draw another tower (if that's what they call the other layer? haha). Basta maliit siya kasi kulang siya ng maliit na layer ng tower. Please wait for another drawing ng Eiffel tower, I will definitely draw it beautifully someday. :)

Decemberrrrrr! :)

I had no money. Kelang ng mag-ipon ipon para sa mga Christmas Giftssss :)

My friend send me this :)

• There.. Nakakarelate akooo hihi. I Love Charm she just so know how i feel about this.. Pero I'm happy to say na I'm kinda moved on already? I guess.. here it goes

  
  
  Hi Patty gurl! I miss you. Hey I read this blog entry, it was shared by a friend cos the blogger was her batchmate from highschool. Please read it pag may time ka, kasi ang sarap maka-relate! Paborito ko yung third. I wish I could write like her http://thoughtcatalog.com/2011/feelings-there-need-to-be-words-for/

  Feelings We Need Words For « Thought Catalog

  thoughtcatalog.com

  English is so bad at describing what it means to grieve. We use words like bereft or bitter or sad, or we say we have a broken heart. But none of these really get at the nuances. The words don’t seem to capture each exquisitely painful feeling.

  
  

  English is so bad at describing what it means to grieve. We use words like bereft or bitter or sad, or we say we have a broken heart. But none of these really get at the nuances. The words don’t seem to capture each exquisitely painful feeling.

  For example, there should be a word, maybe borrowed from German, a language so good at expressing complicated mental states in a single lengthy word with many chewy consonants, for when you miss someone so incredibly, achingly much, when that person pervades every thought, every interaction, every waking moment, but you also loathe them. Because they treated you badly, or because they were too weak to be honest with you. Because you were betrayed. And because you loathe them, you hate yourself for missing that person so intensely. For missing the laughter they inspired; for wishing for the easy intimacy that you built. You hate yourself for knowing that they aren’t worth so much sadness, that such an outlay of mental energy is entirely wasted and useless. But you feel it anyway, and you cry in the shower or into your pillow or anytime something reminds you of that person. Which is all the time. There should definitely be a word for that.

  There should also be a word, maybe from the French, who do existentialism so well, for the feeling of disconnection you cultivate when you walk through the streets with your headphones on, sad songs blasting into your ears loudly enough that you can pretend you are alone. You pass by other people almost without seeing them, since you can’t hear them. You walk by shops and offices on the sidewalk, going somewhere or maybe not going anywhere in particular, feeling like the music in your ears is a soundtrack to your sadness. This song makes you think of that person; that song comes close to capturing how lonely you are without them. You isolate yourself physically because you feel so isolated inside; surrounded by people, you are still alone, because you have been abandoned by that one person who made you feel somehow less alone.

  English is also missing a word for how it feels when you know that person has moved on so quickly. When you find out you weren’t as important as you thought you were. When you realize that they were acting selfishly instead of caring about you, or when you understand that you didn’t really come into it at all for them, they were just doing what they needed to do. Maybe it should come from Russian, because the Russians know despair. You thought you were finally getting over them. You could almost go an hour, if you were busy with something really important, without thinking about them. Then you see a Facebook post or hear some gossip from mutual friends, and you realize you weren’t over it. Not even close. You realize you were still holding out hope that you would get back together, that there would be some way to repair the damage, to be happy again. When that hope is crushed, the fragile Jenga tower of your life tumbles down. There should be a word for that kind of defeat.

  And there should also be a word for when you’re just so tired of being sad, for when you are tired of being lonely but somehow don’t know how to stop. When you’re tired of crying, tired of thinking about that person, tired of missing them. You can’t yet make yourself recognize all the bad things; remembering how you’ve been done wrong doesn’t help. But the hurt over the good things, the things you still miss so much, is a dull twist in your stomach now, instead of a gaping hole in your chest. You don’t know how to turn that off, don’t remember how to be happy. But you sort of remember happiness as it existed before that person, and you want that so desperately. You want to stop this misery that drags at your ankles and eyes and insides. You know it will take time, but sometimes just the fact of being tired of crying makes you cry. Maybe we could co-opt a word from Japanese for that, since melancholy is a specialty of theirs.

  There should be an English word for all these feelings of grief. And I desperately wish they existed now, just so I could tell you, next time you ask, how I’m doing in only four words, instead of all these.

  
  

  That's what the blog contains about. :)

• 
  

  
  

  
  

  
  

  
  

  
  

  
  

  
  

BREAKING DAWN MARATHON PAAAAAAAAAART 1. :)

We had our symposium held at University of Manila. I was with Emilio when we arrived at UST kasi meeting place namin ng fivers dun :) Ayun hinid na sumabay si eming sa amin kasi alam mo na, may ano sa kanila ni Lorraine haha. Kasabay nalang niya si Lars.. Ayun we waited for Janelle to arrived kasi she was late that time pero it was okay kasi we were thinking the symposium would start late nd we were right about it, kasi regestration time palang nung we arrived. :) Ayun as usual I was distracted by some people, lalo na kay girl at biy kasi they were together pero okay nalang sakin.. We didn't finish the symposium kasi mejo boring na saka si Lorraine at Denise maaga rin kelangan umalis eh.. Ayun nag aya ako kay Pam at Jazner na umalis narin tapos pasyal sa Robinson ermita haha and that we decided to watch Breaking Dawn.. We were buying tickets that time tapos ayun boom! I didn;t likewhat I saw that time, silang dalawa. It did hurt me seeing both of them together just the two of them.. Kaya ayun, sabe ni Jaz at Pam wag ko nalang pansinin.. pero the were like guilty kasi I'm sure of it that they were gonna buy tickets for themselves too kasi mukang manunuod din sila, pero seeing me there buying also umiwas sila but they didn't noticed that I saw them papaalis. Bakit kasi kelangan pa nila umiwas sakin? I mean I had the right to know, kasi tao rin ako nasasaktan mali yung ginagawa nila na pagiwas sakin para lang hindi ako mahurt, what they're doing? It just hurt me more kasi pinagtataguan nila ako, I have the right to know kasi honestly ang panget ng dating ng pinagtataguan niola ako but then nakikita ko anman na meron to think that si boy ay dati ko tapos si girl friend ang kablock ko pa.. Mas nasasaktan nila ako.. :( tatanngapin ko naman eh, mas mahihirapan lang kami ng ganitoooo.. Tatanggapin ko kahit sa inside ko may sakit paaaa kaysa naglilie at pinagtataguan pa nila akooo.. :(

Anyways haaaay enough of drama.. Tapos nakita namin sila rj. eming, josef, lars at lem. nag aya sila na magMOA so ayun, jaz refunded the ticket we bought for breaking dawn and decided to go with them in MOA. Dun nalang kami nagwatch. Kaso si Lem umiwi na kagad di na nakasama samin. :( Ang ganda ng breaking dawn. Epic! :"> Ayun.. that was it..

"have I found youuuuuu, flightles bird.... "

....No class this friday! :) Friday I'm inlove....nooooot!

I'm their target---BULL's EYE!

Kasi last tuesday nung uwin grabe mga TOTOO konmg kaibigan mangasar, they were yelling "YIEEEE" eh paano ba naman kasi when were about to went downstairs (sa main building to ha) pauwi na, nasa harap ko si E. Eh what the hell, haha ayaw ko na ng inaasar dun eh. Kasi it's just giving me hope! saka baka mamaya magfeeling na di pako over sa kanya. :< ayaw ko ng ganun.. Tapos nung wednesday naman, kasi nagbubuy sakin ng book yung boyfriend ni Nathalie (friend ko from biology), tapos nung inexcuse ako ni marion hala! buong MB sa room naghiyawan which made me laugh naman haha nakakatuwa ( i love MB!) good thing Elmar and Louise were still not there. :P The hell, i was imagining my face right there nung inaasar nila akooo, pasimuno syempre yung true friends ko (fivers) kuno hahahaha! :)) Tapos ayun na dumating si elmar, sus! Inasar parin ata ko or siya ata? either way, nagsabe sila ng "aww" haha nice, but then again that gives me hope nanaman. :| Then sumonod si louise pumasok, as if naman, obvious na they were together sabi nung iba sakin, pero the other should come late para masabi na they're not together. Pero still it's obvious nga eh. Haaaaay. :<

Edsa Shangrila with Fivers! :)

This happned last November 11, 2011. Yeah I know right 11/11/11. Overnight:)) Kasi convention ng dad ni Roseanne pero Tito Ramon needed to go home that time kaya ayun kami na nagstay dun, supposedly dapat hangaang wednesday pa yun kaso may pasok kami haha :D Ayun, wala si Denise kasi kelangan niya umuwi for some reasons. :) Ayun, we ate dinner sa SM megamall, Shakey's. Tapos ayun we hurried back sa hotel and spent the hours their. Tapos nagwish kami nung nag 11:11pm na haha Funny! We had a nice sleep.. :)) Tapos kinabukasan free buffet kami, ahaha kumain kami ng napaka dami.. Ayun that was it. :>

Here at rosey's crib. :D

Baka sa weekends nalang ako makakapagblog hihi. Haaaay, Gusto ko sana magpunta sa wish lanterns peroooo wag na lang. :(

TOMORROW, back to school again. back to realityyy.

Well yeah, I have to enjoy LIFE. Happiness is that. :)

Great debate with my friend :D

We were texting about giving chances to develop one's feeling towards the other. It went like this..

"...Paano kung wala pang feelings? yan usually ang problema sa inyo mga babae eh. :P hhahaha! Paano magkakafeelings? Eh usually naman pag nagkafeelings ka pag gwapo o kilala mo naaaa! diba? Pati di anman madalian yun eh. :P haah sorry nakipagaway eh =)) haha! kala ko ba pare-pareho babae?"

ME: "Pare-pareho babae kapag nasa relatimnship stage na sila, or kapag may tampuhan. Pero iba-iba naman feelings nyan kapag pipili ng gusto syempre iba-iba ang feeling kapag nagkakagusto eh. alangan are-pareho. haha :)) Sorry nagbabase kasi ako sa feelings ko and besides di ako masyado tumitingin sa outside beauty hahasaka taman lang yung maging honest ka kung ayaw mo sa isang tao talaga. Para fair ka.. Better hurt them earlier and in reality kasi the hurt will not that last long naman or else you'll just make it worst and hurt them in the long way run knowing that there's nothing to develop in there. Be fair enough. haha. :)"

then my friend talked about the hardworks and efforts..

ME: "Yeah I believe in hardworks and efforts too. But what if wala ngang talaga feelings yung tao towards dun sa isa diba? I mean c'mon! Maappreciate niya siguro yun pero wala talaga eh. Look, for example si ------ diba? I mean, oh eto tayo mga friends niya suportado, "onting effort pa". Pero sa part ni girl, wala talaga diba?.. kaya jan nabubuo ang 'stupid for love' naganyan na ako. haha!"

"ayos nakipagdebatehan! :)) pero kung di mo igigive ng chance yung tao to prove their love look at things diba.Nagustuhan mo ba ang micro simula palang? Diba di naman kaagad-agad. di lahat ng bagay LIKE kagad. Yung iba dapat mag-grow muna? Paano kung yung the ONE mo di mo feel o no spark pero siya talaga diba? Parang give guys every chance. I know Elmar did a shit pero come on! DON'T LET A GUY RUIN ALL THE GUYS. Kasi di lahat ganon. :((" ----okay this reply hit me like a woah! hell.. haha Do things changed my "paniniwala" because of HIM? oh noooo..

"No, maybe life want you to learn na love is not an instant thing. It needs to be worked. Di ko lang alam. :> Fate did not let you feel just a hurt. Fate ave you lesson and wisdom about love pat. ;)"

ME: "Yeah that fate thing. Bakit kasi you have to get hurt for you to learn and understand love, pwede naman wala nalang masaktan.. Stupid love, yet the greatest and the loveliest feeling ever. Parang ironic noh? 'When there's pain, there's love' kaakibat daw lage.. Stupid thing again, but undeniably true. ;')"

"kelangan talaga masaktan . lahat masasaktan best patty! No, it's not stupid pat! :) haha See you can blog about this. You are undeniably good at this. :)"

WELL that's it.. hihi. :) Absurd but great debate.. LOL. :))

Late night phone call..

I was in the phone with Arbert Rubio, friend ko siyaaa.. We studied in tha same school nung elementary siya tapos ako highschool. :) We talked like hours and hours hihi.. oh hour lang pala.. Hmm nothing so special, pero I was shocked kasi first time niya tumawag, then he just asked me to accopnany him kapag wala siya makasama kasi napapagastos daw siya kapag friends niya kasama niya, puro dota daw. :D That was it.. Oh ang it's November 7 today 12:48 in the morning. :)

Because I'm absolutely in boredoooomm..

Ayan ang mga nagawa ko.. Dapat pala lage wala ko magawa para makapagdrwa ako eh. :D Kidding! I'm not that good though, I promise to draw something neither I can't imagine I draw something "shocking". :D

Right

Flowwwwwwwwwww slowly, but surely. :)

TODAY :? ------ February 9 2011 I died. When will I be renew? I dunno.

bipolar?! yes.
i am optimistic and scared.
i am sociable and timid.
i am always cautious and forever dead careless.
i enjoy solitude nevertheless i fear being left alone.
i am fickle-minded though nearly impossible to bend.
i am an achiever, and yet i always end up losing more than i have gained.
I allow people to enter my life easily. yet i tend to be cynical at times.
I’d prefer everyday being nonstop,
but the blank spaces in life are my sanctuary.
i hate doing nothing, and hate being asked to do everything.

I experience mediocrity at its best.
I am not the best dancer you'll ever see,
but yes, dancing is something I do.
Writing and drawing are two of my emotional outlets.
One of my best stimulants is a good novel. Esp. those of Paulo Coelho's Mitch Albom and Nicholas Sparks,
I am a microbiologist student, but i think i'll be a surgeon someday.

I have two major sicknesses i think i'll never be cured off:
One, I'm weak at easily hurts inside.
Two, i often procrastinate.

I allow people to enter my life easily.
yet i tend to be cynical at times.
I am stubborn when it comes to goodbyes -slash- letting go.
Fair enough, I hate those.

♥ My friends are my refuge. My family, my weakness.

Religion is not my thing.
But i've remained faithful to it for it ties me to my beloved family.
And now, maybe i do believe that for all its errors,
it really is just trying to put things right.
I've learned to distinguish religion from spirituality.
I am baptized Catholic, so religion for me is like peering with vain effort to discern clearly a vague mirage.
But in the end, i honestly believe that all religions tend to point to the same light. In between the light and us, sometimes there are too many rules (rules that i sometimes tend to not follow because i do not want those rules to define me.) The light is here and there are no rules to follow this light. but i do believe. i do want to believe.


I am never satisfied with what I am, and what I have. Like everyone else I dream of nothing but pure happiness, yet with which sadness there on comes for I never am content. And never will be.

I'm hopelessly romantic, I love deeply and I do believe marriage is a sacred thing. :))

-----what the hell, is this me? :)))))) Okay enough of this rampant things on my head which obviously as you can see I blogged in here. FUNNY! :D

Why?

Why does it hurts here? I can't come up with any reasons why do I even think of those again. It still hurtssss.. Oh God, why like this? I mean can I just be healed already? I'm too tired and it messes up everything! Can I have thie amnesia so that I could already forget? hoho Kidding! But seriously, I want to...be happy. Please let ma be, kahit one month lang ng hindi ko naiisip ule siya at siya. I'm trying my best here, but still.. Boom. Bumabalik sa dati. And oh God pasukan na, I can't even think of what to dooo now I mean ayun nanaman ooh, naiimagine ko nanaman sarili ko not focus, prententing to be fine while I'm not, really..

:')

I'm gonna make new memorieeees! I swear, I'm never hurt again I'd be more careful, I'd me more stronger. I'd be more wiser.. I will never get hurt again, never..

THURSDAY!

Andito kanina sila Kc, janine at Elshai. We watched Zombadings 1, Patayin sa shokot si remington. :)))) Yeah It was funny!.. Oh and I'm kinda jealous kasi they're going to Jona's house kasi Joana's celebrating her birthday there.. I wasn't able to come kasi alam ko na na irereject lang ako ni mama kapag nagpaalam akoo.. Hay anyway, at least I didn't get bored kanina. Oh before I forgot, nagdecotate na kami ng Christmas tree.. Next stop: sa labas. I wll take a picture of it tomorrow then I'm gonna blog it here. Had fun today. :)

SOMEDAY!

I'm gonna be there someday! You'll see. :') Oh need to list all my wish list!

Novembering (remembering) things. HAHA!

Oh oh its already novemberrrrr! I'm excited for Christmas hihi I know too early for that.. Well I dunno what I'm supposed to blog? But what I know is that I didn't do much this daaaay. Boredom striked me again kanina.. Haaay. :| Will be decorating our house tomorrow foooooor.. LALALA christmas. :)

True!

When she says it's over

she still wants you to be hers..

awww.. :'(

• Boy: I broke up with her.
• His Best Friend: What happened?
• Boy: She’s just too much for me.
• His Best Friend: What makes you say that? What did she do wrong?
• Boy: Well, for one.. She only cared about her appearance. Always had to look good, always took forever to get dressed! So insecure..
• His Best Friend: So, you broke her heart because she wanted to keep your eyes locked on her? She wanted you to see that you have the prettiest girl under your sleeve and not think otherwise? I see..
• Boy: Oh.. Well..She’d often call me or text me asking where I am, who I’m with, telling me not to smoke, not to drink. She’s so clingy!
• His Best Friend: So, you broke her heart because she cares about your well being? Because she
• cares about you a lot? And her greatest fear is losing you. I see..
• Boy: But.. Uhh.. Well, she’d always cry when I say something slightly mean. She can’t handle anything. She’s a crybaby!
• His Best Friend: So, you broke her heart because she has feelings? And because she just wanted to hear you say you love her? I see..
• Boy: I.. Well! You know, she’d get jealous easily. I could barely talk to other girls! She’s so annoying! I had to hide it from her.
• His Best Friend: So, you broke her heart because she just wanted you to commit to her? She thought you were faithful, but you lied so she could find out later and hurt even more? She just wanted the guy she loves the most to love only her. I see..
• Boy: Well, she..
• His Best Friend: You broke up with her because she’s good for you? She just wanted the best for you? She’s broken now because you were selfish. Are you proud?
• Boy: I broke her heart.. Because I couldn’t see what was happening.. What happened to me?
• His Best Friend: You lost the girl that loved you like no one else could. You see? You didn’t want her when all she ever wanted was you. That's what happened.

Crazy Stupid Love movieeee mode :)

"There's one true love for everyone and if you fought far enough for that person, the one you true love will always work out... I can promise you this, I would never stop trying because when you find the one. You never give up." ------ :) Yeah its right.. How can I possibly find the ONE :')

People I spent day with.. OMG. Unusual! :D

Okay I know this may sounds weird butttt.. I hanged out with RS Mateo and Kevin Cachuela, and I met this new friend, Bernadine Recrio. And it was the first time I spent time with those people. Kevin Cachuela was my past, and I felt nothing when I saw him. parang wala na haha! :)) Ayun.. That was the only thing that happened to me todaaay. :>

:)

Got nothing to doooooo! hahaha Bagay sakin yung song na LAZY SONG ngayong araw. May nagawa pa ako tss.. :< Off tomorrow kela rs kasama kevin :) Laro at movie trip lang hoho!

WALANG MAGAWA NGAYON ARAAAAW!

PBB night hahahaah may papanuorin narin ako sa wakaaas :)) haha! Goodnight!

Nicholas Sparks Fever!

Hihi. I will never forget na nagpunta ako sa signing and greetingsssss kay Nicholas Sparks! grabe. I was with ate Bea, hihi. Kaso hindi alam ni mama na bumili ako ng book, para yun ang ticket ko. Ate Bea didn't buy anymore kasi ayun, kaya ako nalang haha. Tapos after buying The best of kelangan pumunta dun sa Atrium para bumunot ng Yes (means you got a chance to meet and greet and a sign pass para kay Sparks) if sorryy then you will not be able to get a pass. Guess what? hahaha Yes akoooo! Luckkkkyyyyy me , dun lang. And pang 748 akooo! tagal ko pa ngaaaa.. pero at least diba? Oh by the way andun din pala sila Denise, Lorraine, Jaz and Pam kaso nauna sila kasi pang 200 lus silaaa.. :) GREAT FEELING yesterday October 28, 2011 sa Podium! Grabeeee, :"> Isa to sa drteams koooo eh, hihi hindi ko expected na mangyayariii talagaaaaaaa! :"> UNEXPLAINABLE HAPPINESSSSS sobraaaaaaaaaaaaaa! :') THANK YOU FOR THIS KIND OF HAPPINESS :)

by the way akin yung picture kay ate bea yung autograph, hihi okay na yun kasi kawawa rin naman si ate bea na nagantay eh..

:">

Nakapag enroll na rin sa wakaaaaaaaaaaaaaas :) Off for tomorrow kay nicholas sparkssss :"> HIHIHHIHIHIHIH :))

TRUE! HAHA

Mga kaugalian ng mga babae.

1.) AYAW ng binababaan ng phone bigla. Mabilis silang mainis sa ganun.

2.) AYAW ng nire-replyan ng "?".

3.) Minsan, kapag sinabi niya na gawin mo na lang ginagawa mo, meaning nun ihinto mo ginagawa mo at kausapin mo siya.

4.) AYAW ng inaasar siya kasi pikon siya.

5.) Kapag galit ka, 'wag mo i-ooff ang phone mo dahil automatic 'yan, tatawag siya dahil nag-aalala siya.

6.) Kapag galit siya, suyuin mo siya. Babaan mo ang pride mo dahil malamang, World War III 'yan kapag hinayaan mo na ganun lang mangyayari sa inyo.

7.) Kapag binabaan ka niya ng fone, gumawa ka ng paraan para makausap mo siya. 'wag mo na paabutin ng umaga na walang ginagawa. Dahil iisipin nun na she's not worth your time.

8.) Kapag nagtanong ka kung anong problema niya at sinabi niyang "wala", 'wag kang magsabi ng "okay". Tanungin mo siya ulit. Ayaw nila ng madaling kausap. Gusto nila ng kinukulit sila.

9.) Kapag inaasar ka niya, meaning nun nagla-lambing siya. 'wag kang mapipikon dahil mabilis silang magtampo.

10.) Kapag binigyan ka niya ng oras, 'wag mo sayangin.

Ang babae, pakipot 'yan. Gusto sinusuyo lagi. Gusto lang naman ng lambing niyan kaya nang-aaway o nagpapansin eh.

Minsan talaga, ang babae, mahirap i-pinta. Para silang abstract, magulo pero maganda pa rin. Kung lalake ka at hindi mo alam 'yan, pasensyahan. Nature na 'yan ng babae.

Tireeeeeed day!

Been to school this daaaaay, tiring day. Buti naayos ko sched ko and everything. Thank you LORD, I love you! But I felt bed sa mga kablock ko na namromroblema paaaaaa sobra. Kung pwede lang sana na maging regular nalang lahat noh? :< Masaya kausap si Lars hahaha. Si Lars Hayahay at si Rj Tacaca at si Pamela Tan ang kasama ko kanina eh, hihi. I do love my block lalo na Fiversssss pati Jaz Cruz, Paulo Mendoza, Lemuel Dizon Emilio Escobar at Rj Tacaca. Sila kasi nakakausap ko ng matino eh.. But I Love all MB especially Him.. kahit na ano :')

The Best of Me

October 28, 2011. At Podium. NICHOLAS SPARKS live! Autograph signing.. All time one of my favorite novelist and I'd love to gooooooo! Pero need to buy a book, got no penny. huhu. :( I waaaaant!

Nothing to doooo!

MOVIE MARATHON (period). I felt baaaaaad, ang dami kasing iniisip.. I'm too tired. Pero happy akoooo. I got to live my life HAPPY despite everything. I have to learn to be strong enough! GO! :)

Bended Spoon :)

We had this photoshoot with my HS friendssssssss.. No theme thooough! Next time we will be surely prepared.. :)

I love you Lola!

I love you PAPA please stay stroooooong! :* I have my prayers for you Lola I love you too!

I can't believe I've said this to my friend..

".....Parang ang lungkot nanaman, ewan ba..nakakainis..Nagbasa kasi ako ule ng blog ko. Naalala ko lang ule lahat.. Di ko alam minsan iniisip ko na nagreregret ba ako or hindi? Well kahit papaano sobrang daming happy moments and at least naging happy ako with him kahit ! year anf 2 months lang..and FOREVER siyang favorite part ng LIKE KO. Pero yung mga memories na yun ang nagpapasad din sakin kahit paano.. Pero he's still breaking my heart. I DID EVERYTHING A GIRL NEED TO DO WHEN SHE"S BROKEN HEARTED, yet not enough to take the pain away... I wish I could do something that wouyld make the pain go away and make me happy again. I wish I am what I used to be, whre all I could think of was happy moments, cheerful daysss, MY DREAM. I couldn't bring that back for now..Tapos nasama ko pa siya sa pangarap ko, but he just took it awayyyyy. All I wanted along is that dream of mine, ehe Eiffel tower, eurotrip. He said he would take me there, sasamahan daw niya ko kaming DALAWA daw. Kami daw tutupad nun lalo na sa Eiffel tower, sabe pa niya ipapasyal din daw niya ko sa London.. Eh what am i supposed to do when all I could think of is my dream yet all i remember was a failed out promises? Yung dream ko yun yung nagpapasaya nalang sakin ehlalo na yung oras na wala pa siya sa buhay ko.. CHILDHOOD DREAM KO YUN EH pero he just stained it..:'( Sana may time machine nga talaga noh? para alam ko na yung gagawin ko.. Yeah, i admit nasasaktan parin ako lalo ng alam ko everything he's doing to that girl, he DID that to me! And I'm so angry right now sa sarili ko for finding out that..I STILL LOVE HIM this this this muccccccch but all I could do was nothing. I know he's happy right now and I think he's inlove and that I want to be happy for him and for that girl, I really doooooo! Beacause I love them and beacause I love too much! But how? I can't for nowww.. It's too painful...." :(

FIVERS LOVEEEEE!

Tapos THANK GOD! kasi after our trip, nakita namin grades namin I'm so happy na kahit paano regular ako at wala akong failed na majooooors! I'm so baaaaaaad at maaaath. Anyways.. my sembreak is completeee. :') though minsan may mga naiisip parin ako.. I Love people who loves meeeee! :') I really dooooo..
Happy time with my Lovessss FIVERS hihi. Ang saya lang nakakawala ng streeeeeeesssssssssss! I'll treasure this peopleeeeeee...October 12-14 2011..

Hi agaaaaain! I miss you blog!

Am i gonna still blog about that LOVE THINGYYYY? Hmmm now what.. Oh wait there, I'm supposed to find new theme for this blog :)

Taposss...

Tapos ayun, may mga naririnig narin ako na kinikiss ata ni elmar si louise sa may gilid ng forehead.. Hindi ko na nga lang pinapansin yung mga ganito kasi sobraaaang sakit. Sa totoo lang ayaw ko pansinin kasi ayaw ko magalit sa kanila, saka hinbdi ko alam kung totoo ba yun ehMay nakapagsabi din sakin nung nagrorockband sila.. Grabe, wala pang I week yuuun alam mo ba? ako sobrang lumulubog na sa sakittttt. n:'( Sobraaaaaaa, tapos pagtapos nun, piniem ko si louise para tanungin kung bakit ganun yung nakita ko sa vid , sabe niya wala naman yun.. naniwala ko :> Nagpost pa nga siya sa wall ko pero nawala yun kasi binura niya nakita ko lang sa ym ko hoho. binura daw niya kasi sabe ni rj na para daw magiging guilty siya pag nagsorry, ako anamn si " Oo nag louise, wag ka magsorry wala ka naman dapat ikasorry eh......" tapos ayun kwentuhan na, natouch ako kay louise kasi naiintindihan niya ko kahit paano (pero hindi pa rin maalis sa isip ko yung mga video pati na rin yung picture) SOBRANG nasaktan akooo, minsan naiisip ko na nga lang kung minahal ba niya ko, bakit niya nagawa yung mga ganito. Alam ko may mali ako, pero parang sa mga nagawa niya sakin mas natabunan na niya ng sakit yung mga nagawa koooo. Sa lahat, ang alam kong nagawa ko lang egh, nasakal ko siya at pag nagagalit ako sa kanyaaaaa.. Ni minsan wla ako ginawa tulad ng nagawa niyaaa. Pero kahit na ganun grabe wala ko paki, kahit masakit kasi mahal ko siyaaa.. :( Tapos ayun, may nangyari din nun nanuod ako ng football niyaaaaa, napaisip ako dun tapos napaiyak din.....Kasi science week namin yun tapos may nagtext sakin, si jenaaaa. piniem niya ko.. sabe niya may sasabihin daw siya sakin, sabi ako ano yuuun.. Dinerecho ako ni jena, sabe niya sakin na wag na daw ako malungkot dahil sa kanya, kasi I deserve someone better daw (pero siya gusto ko). Masaya daw siya na wala na kami ni elmar, sa totoo lang daw parang sinasabe na daw sa kanya ni elmar dati pa daw na parang ayaw na sakin ni elmar, kaya lang di daw niya ko magawa iwan dahil umiiyak daw ako at naaawa daw siya sakin. Sinabe ni jena na hindi ko deserve ang pain. Ayaw daw niya si elmar para sakin.. :( tapos yun, sinabe ko nga yun kay jena yung nangyari na, sinabihan niya ko ng hindi na nia ko mahaaaal, na sinabe lang sakin ni elmar na naaawa lang siya sakin, sinabi din ni elmar na yung dati nagtanong ako "mahal mo ba ko? " yung nakain kami sa may parang sausage house ata yun? sa may p. noval, kiniss niya lang ako sa forehead kasi daw hindi daw niya alam isasagot duuun.. Naaawa lang dawe siya sakin yun na lang daw yun! :((( tapos ayun, sabe sakin ni jena, "kung mahal/minahal ka talaga ng isang tao, hindi ka niya sasaktan at sasabihan ng ganun (yung hindi ka niya mahal".. Napaisip ako dun at sabe ko sa sarili ko, oo nga.. Oo nga at nakikipaghiwalay na siya pero hindi sasabihoin yun ng taong minahal ka, hindi niya sasabihin na hindi ka na niya maha, kasi ang bilis naman nuuun kung ganun, pag ganun yun lang lang ang ibig sabihin num.. Hindi ka niya minahal.. Pero hindi ako naniniwalaaa parin,,, SAKIT ng pingadadaanan ko noh? Parang doble, parang mas natabunan na niya yung mga nagawa koooo.. haha minsan nga nililibang ko nalang sarili ko para hindi na ko magisip ng kung anu-ano paaaa eh. :< tapos ayuuuuun, tapooooooos.. Nakwentuhan ako ni emilioooo, kelan lang na.. Tinatanong ako ni konstanz sa kanya, tas sinabe daw ni konstanz sa kanya na naaawa daw sakin si konstanz at naiintindihan din, kasi daw nakikita daw niya na parang may somethng sa kanila ni louise :< naiinis daw si konstanz kay elmar kasi habang may something daw samin ni elmar inaano daw niya si louise..... Grabe natouch ako kay konstanz. :') pero hindi pa rin ako naniniwala, sabe sakin ni louise TRUST ko lang daw siya na walang meron sa kanila ni elmar at best friend lang daw.. naniniwala naman ako... Nirerespect ko si louise at tinuturing ko siyang friend kaya kahit at least sa kanya mag trust ako. :> tapos.. TO BE CONTINUEEEE....

....Feb 9, 2011

Tapos ayuuun nga.. nagtanong ako bakit, may gusto ba siyang iba? tanong ko, sabe naman niya wala naman daw at nasasakal daw siya at nahihirapan sakin.. gusto daw niya ng timeeee ako naman nagpapanic na kasi ayaw koooo.. seryoso siya nun. :'] Sabe ko ayaw kooo.. Grabe hinabol habol ko siya, nasa may moa kami grabeng hianbol ko siya at nagmakaawa na ayaw ko na maayos pa namin to, lahat na sabe ko hindi ko na siya pagbabawalan ng kung anu-ano, sabe ko hindi nako magiging moody at kung anui-ano pa.. Basta ang dami ko sinabe na babaguhin ko basta magstay lang siya.. Tapos nagpunta pa kami sa seaside para dun niya sabihin talaga na ayaw na niyaaaaa, kasi ako nagyaya sa kanya dun, kasi akala ko pag dinala ko siya dun mababago ang lahat.. Pero hindi din pala.. kaya sinabe ko kaya ko siya dinala dun para dun nalang niya sabihin magstop na siyaaaa, kasi dun niay sinimulan lahat lahat! :( ang sakit.. jhanggang pauwi, sa fx umiiyak ako at pinipigilan ko siya na wag niya gawin sakin yun :( sobraaaa.. tapos sinabihan niya ko ng HINDI na niya AKO MAHAL kaya tumigil na daw ako./. grabe para akong binagsakan ng langit nun, sobrang saki. Sobra talaga, parang binibiytak yung puso kooo.. sabe niya kaya niya na wala nako, sabe niya wala na kami.. Aywa na niya sakin.. huhu Sibnabe niya sakin yun.,. He broke my heart. :'( Hindi niya lam kung gaano kasakit yun sinabe niyang yun.. kahit kelan hindi ko siya sinabihan ng ganun, kahit na sobrang inis or galit ako KAHIT kelan hindi ko sinabing hindi ko na siya mahal.. pero siya, sinabe niay sakin yun! Hindi niya alam kung gaano kasakit yun, mas masakit pa sa mga nagawa ko sa kanya.. Umuwi ako ng sira ang araw ko nun, umiyak pa nga ko kay Roseaane nun ng sobraaaaa.. Pakiramdam ko hindi niya ko minahal. Buong week nun kada uuwi ako, kada matutulog ako wala ko ginawa kundi umiyaaaak sa sobrang sakit ng nararamdaman ko nun, sobrang may time na pumasok ako na maga mga mata koooo.. Umaasa pa rin ako ng mga oras na yun at mga araw mna yun na babalik siyaaaa.. Dumating debut ni Louise at hindi pa rin kami okay nun, at dun naisip ko wala na talaga ata kami.. , nag akala nga ko na makakausap ko siya dun at magiging okay ule lahat ng samin.. pero hindi. :] Umuwi ako pag kagaling ko sa debut ni louise, siya magstay-stay dun para mag over night.. Nag inuman sila.. Kinabukasan, feb 14 umaasa ako na baka pumasok siya at maging okay ULE kami, umaasa ULE ako, na eto na siguro yung time na mabibigyan niya ko ng REAL flowers (hindi pa niya ko nabibigyan talaga ng totoo).. pero wla talaga. :( Umuwi ako na ang nagbigay sakin ng bulaklak si jaz emilio at pulo mendoza.. Pag uwi ko nagtext sakin si janelle, sinabihan ako ni lorraine na wag na amuna magfacebook kasi masasaktan lang ako.. pero hindi ko natiis nagfacebook ako.. GRABE ang sakit, may mga nakita akooo. huhu, wala pa nag kaming one week na wala nun, ang dami kong nakit.. Nasatkan ako sa picture nila ni Louise yung nakayakap siya kay louise.. Sobra ako nasaktan, inisip ko nalng na wala yun at best friend sila at saka baka mejo tipsy na sila nun dahil umiinom sila nun.. pero hindi pa rin ako mapalagay ehhh.. Tas meron pang viddeo na nakita huhu.. eto oh yung pinrint scroll ko nalang.. Ang sakit eeeh. Grabe mas mabigat yung mga sakit nanadadama ko kaysa sa kanya, habang siya nagpapakasaya ako ang sakit sakit taaga nuuun.. (ayaw ko na sana maalala, naiiyak lang ako eh) pero ayuun. :'( taps....chinat ko si louise tungkol duuun , nagsorry siya at sabe niya wala lang naman yuuun tinanggap ko, kasi okay naman talaga kami ni louise at may pianagsamahan kami pati friend ko rin siya at hindi ko magawa na magalit sa kanya. :] to be continueeeeee..

... :>

Continuation.. Ayun nga ,tapos naalala ko yung time na napasakay ako sa jeep tpos hinbol niya ko nun hanggang kanto dawwww, pero hindi naman talaga ako sumakay sa jeep nun, bumalik ako sa goldilocks nun, tapos nakita ko wala siya, tas naisip ko na bumalik sumakay na ule tas nun naglakad ako nakita ko siya pabalik na, umaambon pa naman nun, nagsorry ako nun! hihi meron pang time yung ako naman ang naghabol haha, nasa may jollibee kami nun pinapauwi ko na ata siya nun inis nanaman ata ko nun eh, sabi ko wag na niya ko samahan sumakay at mag antay ng jeep. Tapos yun sabe ko magagalit ako pag hinantay pa niya ko kaya ayun umalis na siyaaa, edi ako mejo naguilty a nalungkot, tas ayuuun hinabol ko siya pumasok ako sa loob ng lrt at nag antay nang mga halos 30 minutes tinitignan kung may aakayat na elmar haha! per si dennis reinhardt yung nakita ko! :| hahaha nakitext nalang ako sa kanya gawa ng wala kasi ako load, yun pala si elmar nasa may pureza na ata yun? pero okay lang nagsorry nako kasi mahal na mahal ko siyaaaa. :') Ayaaaan, naghahabulan talaga kamiii haha! tapos meron pa naalala ko yung time na nasabihan ko siya ng manliligaw lang siyaaaaa, grabe hindi ko sinasadya yuuuun :((( sobrang nahurt ko siya duuuun, hindi ko mean yun... huhu ganito lang talaga kami mga bababe sobrang nakakapagsabi ng kung ano pag galit pero hindi namin sadya yuuung mga yun. :( pero nung mga time na yun lage namin naayos yung mga problema namin nun, kung siono yung mali siya yung nahingi ng sorryyyy, pero alam ko minsan nawawala ako lage sa mood ko at nasusungitan at nadadamay k0 siya dun.. marami narin kami beses na nauwi sa "ayaw ko na" mostly ako nagiignite ng ganung usapan hehe gawa ng nadadala ako ng inis.. Meron isang bagay na pinaga awayan namin yung hindi nagsasabe sakin si elmar (unang summer class nain yun march-april 2010 ata yun) nagcocommentan sila ni Mica nun nagwowowall post pa siya nun at kung anung pa (Si mica naging classmate niya sa algeb tapos nun summer naging classmate namin sa trigo, Psych siya).. Hindi niay inamin sakin yung nadiscover ko lang yun nun naging friend ko si mica safb dahil inadd niya ko... May inside joke pa sila. Pero nagexplain siya nun sa text hindi ko pinakinggan pero kinabukasan ng pasok namin nagusap kami at naging okay kami naaaa. :> Meron pa isang nangyariiiii, dito nagsimula lahat kaya nawala masyado trust ko kay elmar at dito din nagsimula na lage nako naghihinala at dito din nagsimula yung madalas namin away sa kung anu-ano.. Nangyari to bago ako mag birthday May 27 2011, 2pm something ng hapoooon, papabuksan ko sana fb ko sa kanya tapos bubukasan ko din sa kanya sasabihin ko dapat magpalit kam sandali accnt pero nauna lang ako buksan yung sa kanyaaaa, tapos nakita ko magkachat sila nun Erica ( biology, classmte din namin sa trigo at classmate din niya sa bio lab nung inulit niya yuuun). Okay lang sakin yung sinabihan niya ng "miss you" si erica, pati yung napakadamingt >:D<.. hindi ko lang matanggap yung sinabe niya na "okay lang na magkatext tayo basta hindi (niya) malaman....." tapos pumayag naman tong girl tapos pinagusapan pa nila kung kelan kami magkikita o magsasama para di masaktuhan na magkatext sil. :(( ang sakit nun time na yun sobraaaa, bakit kelangan niya ko taguan dun, sa totoo lang hindi naman ako magagalit kung malaman ko magkatext sila, selos sigurooo pero hindi ko naman siya pagbabawalan nun eh o magagalit ako... simula nn dahil dun dun ko nagbawal sa kanya ng kung anooo. :(( Ang sakit sakit nun! sobraaa bago pa magbirthdaaaay koooo.. Pero kinabukasan nun naalala ko, iniyakan niya ko ng sobraaaaa, nagiyakan kamiiiii grabe todo iyak at hagulgol siya nunuuuun time na yoooon, kasi yung time na yun umaayaw na kooo eh pero ayaw niya talagaaaaa as in ayaw niyaaaaaa.. Umiiyak siya at nagsasabe na ayaw niya, na hindi niya kaya na wala akooo..grabe ayaw ko siya makita na ganun hindi ko kinakayaaaaa kasi sobrang mahal ko siya. Kaya sinabe ko na okay na, pinapatwad ko na siyaaaa, niyakap ko siya nun nung umiiyak siya sobrang basa right shoulder ko sa iyak niyaaaa, sobrang sabe ko na hindi ko siya kaya makita ng ganun kalimuatn na namin yuuuun at magstart ule, pinatawad ko siya at bumalik ako sa kanyaaaaaa. Yung iyaaaak niya nun kaya sobrang niyakap ko siya. :') Haaaay, naiiyak nanaman ako sa kwento ko ditoooo.. haha :') Haaay ayuuuun.. ang daming beses na rin niya umiyak dahil sakin as in sobrang damiii.. isa din dun yung pumunta kami sa atc nun sa alabang HAHA sa festival mall, tapo andun kami sa church malapit sa atc, napaiyak nanaamn siya duuun dahil muntikan nanaman ako umayaw. pero mahal ko talaga siya at di ko rin kinakayaaaaaaa eh. :)meron din yung bago kami Mag1 hehe, basta madaming beses pero naayos din naman namin.. ANG DAMING MEOMORIES, hindi ko kaya itype lahat dito kasi NASA HEART and MIND ko yun at HINDING HINDI KO MALILIMUATN LAHAT YUUUUNNNN!! Naalala ko rin yung Napasyal ko na siya dito sa las pinas sa village namin at yung peek sa bahay namin hah! Naalala ko rin yung nagbatangas kamiiiiiii ang saya ko nun kasi nakasama ko siyaa.. pati yung baguioooo dayssss sobrang inlove na inlove ako sa kanyaaaaaaa! sa bus sobrang sweet lang namin nun.. ALAM mo ba hindi siya yung taong type ko pero MINAHAL ko siya dahil sa ugali niya, isa lang naman gusto ko sa physical appearance niya yung mata talaga, yn lang.. Kasi hindi naman talaga ko tumitingin sa looks eh, pero the best mata niyaaa.. Tapos yng ugali niyang maalalahanin,sweet,basta yung mga yon, may sense siyaaa. masaya kausap.. BASTAAAAA. kahit na may iba nagssabe na "bakit mo siya nagustuhan?". Tapos naalala ko sabe ni shen si elmar daw yung taong binubully dati, pero wala ko pake duuun. Natuwa ako nung sabe ni shen na parang umaayos daw si Elmar dahil sakin.. Basta lahat gusto ko sa kanyaaaaaa! Tapos the rest dahil mahal ko siyaaaa naappreciate ko na ang lahat lahat sa kanya as in lahat lahat (nawalan na nga ako ng pake sa lookseh) Basata ang alam ko siya yung taong mahal ko at tanggap ko lahat lahat sa kanya! at dun nagsimula yung nakilala ko siya talaga. Inappreciate ko din lahat ng gusto niyaaaaaa.. Kasi sobrang mahal ko siya. Sa araw araw ko siya nakakasama sobrang lumalalim yung love ko para sa kanya. :x may mga common din kaming gustoooo.. pero hindi ko na masasabe yung mga bagya na yun ditooo masyado ng mahaba eh. NASTA KILALANG KILALA KO NA SIYA AT SIYA LANG DIN TALAGA YUNG TAONG KILALANG KILALA KO SA LAHAT AS IN SA LAHAT! :x ; HANGGANG sa isang araw, may mga week na lumalabo na talaga kami.. may time na siya na yung humingi ng space, nung una hindi ako pumayag dahil ayaw ko siya pakawalan pero pumayag din ako, tapos bigla nalng niya binawi yun.. naging okay kami.. Nagusap kami kasi nung org chem lab may nakita ako at hindi ako mapakali kaya inopen ko yun sa kanya (basta yun) tapos eto na yung malala.. Feb 9 2011, pupunta kaim moa, ang sweet niay ang cold ko dawwww.. Siguro hindi pa rin ako maka-get over dun sa nkita ko nung chem lab kaya ganun.. tapos yung nasa mall kami pinaguusapan namin ano bibilhin namin gift para kay louise migraso, kablock namin at friend namin, best friend niya. Tapos ako yung attitude ko nanaman na cold, tapos may mga nasabe nanaman ako na siguro iknainis niya at ikinahurt.. Tapos napaupo kami sa food court, tapos nun sabe ko na bili na kami ng gift ni louise.. Ayaw na niyaaaaa, biglang binungad niya sakin na "ayaw ko na". Nagulat ako at tinanong kung bakit, nasasakal na daw siya at nahihirapan...... To be continueeee..